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Saturday, February 15, 2025

News from Grand Rapids

This has been a dizzying, weird, very sad and yet very uplifting year.

The year, or rather that part of the year when the snow and cold had receded to other venues, began with quite a bang for us: q rail journey through France and Spain. But by now that is very old news indeed.

And while not as exciting perhaps,  the good news that spring was the return of the cranes (and I don't mean Frazier and Lilith) for another season.


It was a quick trip north for a couple of nights with friends in Traverse City. And a real treat was having lunch at the Farm Club. It may not look like much but man oh man the food was simply wonderful!


Another family gathering, this time for Memorial Day at Clear Bottom Lake.

Jen, her husband Scott, Scott's Gordon and Scott's sister Alicia

In late May Susie and I flew to Boston direct from Grand Rapids to gather with family for Kiera MacDonald's graduation from High School in Glastonbury CT.

We also had the opportunity for experience southern-style biscuits at Joe Hafner's tiny shop oddly named Irregardless (I know) in Providence, RI. The shop is owned and operated by Joe and his long-time friend James Dean, partners in culinary adventures. Joe and Susie worked together many years ago at Gracie's in Providence and he was pleasantly surprised to see her (us) having breakfast! The two of them spent some time catching up. . . 


Needless to say we had yet another grand old family time, accompanied by wonderful meals at D & D's, followed by lunch at the Matunuck Oyster Bar in Matunuck, RI.



inside the covered patio


Susie, Dick and Dorothy and I had a scrumptious supper at The Beamhouse in Glastonbury before the graduation ceremonies. 

The pleasantries of summer took a darker tun in early autumn. 

Susan's mom had a rough trip to the Emergency Room where we all spent the better part of a full day trying to discern (1) what was wrong with her followed by (2) what to do next. The long and short of it was Bernice was placed under hospice care. 

Although she returned to her room at Medilodge (still a dumb name) her need for more attentive care required a move to a room closer to staff. 

Amidst all this my old friend friend Ed Evans died in Louisiana. And since Susan was increasingly wrapped up in overseeing her mother's medical and physical needs I headed off by myself to Natchitoches, LA to attend Ed's memorial service in early October. Ed's wife Chris and her family kindly invited me over to their house to join the family for a dinner the night before the service. 

(You can read Ed's obituary and the many lovely comments right here.)


After a quiet morning in my hotel room staying out of the heat, I made my way to the church for the service.

Maybe it was because I knew Ed longer than anyone else there or perhaps because I was there the night Ed and Chris first met (we were on a double date together). Whatever the reason I was deeply moved when Chris asked me to sit with the family. 

After some fifty years think you know someone. But it's when you sit in a large room full of strangers who shared a much longer relationship with Ed and hear about what he did for so many years, who he was, all of which pretty much confirmed what I already knew of course -- but God it was fascinating to hear all those lovely stories.

1st Presbyterian Church

fellowship after the service





Chris (right)

Notwithstanding the 100+ degree heat it was a short but oh so sweet visit to say goodbye to an old friend. 

In a rather dramatic shift of tone, later that same month Susie and I attended the wedding of James Ten Have-Chapman just outside of Zeeland, MI. (James is the son of Susie's cousins Garret and Laurie Ten Have-Chapman.)



friends and family

To help ease the pain of 5 November Susie and I drove north to Traverse City to spend a couple of nights with friends Patty and Paul. Lunch at the Farm Club was as usual superb and dinner that evening turned into something of a very curious surprise.

Many, many years ago when we lived in Grand Rapids we belonged to a food and wine group called, unsurprisingly, The Taster's Guild. Often at dinners were would sit next to Peg and Erwin Sporte. The Sportes were quite nice and always a pleasure to sit with and share a meal and glass or two of wine. We would often talk of traveling and they recounted how they loved going to Traverse City but couldn't get up there much since they were in Grand Rapids to take care of their mothers. 

Over the years since, and particularly, since returning to Grand Rapids to in effect take care of Susie's mom -- or at least help her out when she needed it -- we would often think of the Sportes and wonder what ever became of them.

Anyway, back to our trip to TC. We were searching for a place to have dinner on a chilly Friday night and after two failed attempts we settled on Harrington by the Bay. Our waitress led us to a booth near the front window and Susan quickly spied a small plaque placed against the wall in the booth


 


The Sportes, as we soon learned, eventually moved to Traverse City and Erwin came into the restaurant and sat in this same booth every Tuesday for years. . . . One final dinner shared, I suppose.

I probably should have played the lottery that day.

It was barely a week later that my mother-in-law Bernice Audrey VandenBerg died. But you probably already know about that story. . . 

In early December we joined several of our neighbors for the second annual Eaglecrest Broadway Bar Christmas Luncheon.




On December 7 we joined with the family to say a final goodbye to Bernice Audrey VandenBerg. A truly lovely soul.

After the recent events celebrating lives both past and present we joined a few acquaintances from our gym at Meijer Gardens for their festive light show. 

We were planning to end the year with an overnight stay on New Year's Eve at the Amway Grand Hotel in Grand Rapids. At the last minute we cancelled and that night, New year's Eve I had a cardiac arrest. 

Tuesday, January 07, 2025

Wife saves husband


[from Susan VandenBerg, 1/7/1025]

To those of you who know Steve (and are perhaps very fond of him) I’m reporting that on New Year’s Eve soon after we had finished dinner, he collapsed suddenly, unresponsive with dusky color and gasping breaths. I immediately responded with CPR and calling 911. Medics arrived in due time and continued CPR along with defibrillation which put him back into a regular rhythm and some return of respiratory effort. He was transported to Butterworth ER and stabilized with intubation and sedation. 

I/medical personnel feel this was a dangerous and potentially fatal arrhythmia most likely caused by some scar tissue in the heart from Steve’s previous heart attacks. In that case the scar can interfere with the electrical circuits in the heart, disrupting the normal rhythms. There are a number of other details that I could share with you, although that really isn’t that important at this stage. The crux of the matter is that, if I hadn’t been home when he collapsed, he would have died.

He was admitted that night to the Meijer Heart Center cardiac ICU at Corewell Health Butterworth here in Grand Rapids, remaining intubated and sedated overnight. The following morning (New Year’s Day) his sedation was weaned off allowing him to be extubated. The past few days have seen the brain fog he has been experiencing lifting and bringing him back to his often jovial and sometimes witty yet nicely sarcastic self. He still has some short term memory issues and thankfully doesn’t remember what happened.

Some of you received his Jacquie Lawson New Year’s Day greeting which he had set up some days ago to be automatically sent on January 1. I also received that email and was struck by the fact that when I saw it coming into my inbox from "Steve at paliowinner@gmail.com", he was recovering in the ICU, not sitting at his computer.

His days at the hospital have included ongoing monitoring, a cardiac cath on 1/2/25 during which a very narrow portion of his right coronary artery (that had previously been stented) was ballooned. 

On Saturday, 1/4/25 a defibrillator was implanted to protect him from possible future episodes. He was discharged to home later that day. Since being home, he has been up and about, working in the kitchen, working on the computer, reading, interacting in his usual way. There are still things he doesn’t remember (and perhaps never will).

We are thankful for excellent medical care and look ahead to continued improvement in the coming weeks. While we are disappointed that we had to cancel a planned short trip to Madrid on January 8th, we are hoping to be able to travel to France as planned the end of March.

A Happy New Year it is!

Your friends,

Susan and Steve 

Friday, December 20, 2024

Light Show at Meijer Gardens

Titled "Enlighten" this is one winter light show that has to be seen to be believed, particularly after a light snowfall. And in fact that's what happened to us. 

Joining a few friends from MVP, we strolled the grounds of this incredible spectacle; accompanied along the way by wonderful music, we were enthralled and amazed by the creative and fascinating light displays of the many of the sculptures along the 1-mile pathway laid out for us.

the amphitheater, near the entrance to the light show







I








Rodin's "Eve"




Leaving the light show we passed in to the main greenhouse to warm up and enjoy the annual miniature building layouts.




A superb evening indeed!

Timed tickets, through January 4.

Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Saying goodbye to Mom and Gram

Sunday was a lovely day in Grand Rapids, quite unexpectedly so for December. It was a perfect day in fact for saying goodbye to Mom/Gram. The family gathered for brunch at Lucy's on Plainfield in Grand Rapids: Bergmans, Vanden Bergs, Shane, Battjes, and Engels, all enjoying a meal together.


siblings: Christina, Rachel, Jonathan and Melissa

sisters and their mom: Christina, Joyce, Rachel and Melissa

Glen and Christina

After a scrumptious meal and lots of time for family catching up, we convoyed to Woodlawn Cemetery to pay a visit to Bern. And Tunis, too, of course.

Susan explaining how the vault system works

the Gathering


Saturday, December 07, 2024

Memorial Service for Bernice Audrey Vanden Berg

Today was THE DAY of remembrance and celebration of my mother-in-law's life. 

3448 Eagle Ridge Court, GR, MI, 2015

The weather, always an uncertainty in winter in Michigan, saw fit to cooperate for travelers coming from both sides of the country to honor and celebrate the memory of my mother-in-law, Bernice Vanden Berg.  

Bernie's memorial service was held at 1pm at Beckwith Hills CRC, preceded by visitation at noon and followed by social time with coffee and sweet treats compliments of the French Tarte and the ladies at Beckwith Hills church. 

Here is a link to the memorial service. Please note that the service itself does not begin until 30 minutes into the taping. Photos of the service and social hours courtesy of Dick Van Halsema.


At noon family and friends gathered in the lounge of the church to visit and catch up with one another.



The service was conducted by Laurie Ten Have-Chapman. Besides being an ordained minister, Laurie also happened to be one of Bern's nieces and knew what a truly wonderful person she was and most likely still is. Laurie was ably assisted by Stan Sturing, interim pastor at Beckwith Hills. 

Granddaughter Rachel Engels read a beautiful essay of loving remembrances of Bern while several other grandchildren read bible passages that Bern had expressly asked to be included in her service. In fact, Bern had meticulously planned her service years in advance and it was simply a matter of following her direction.



granddaughter Melissa Parker

grandson Jonathan Bergman

Pastor Stan Sturing

granddaughter Rachel Engels

Pastor Laurie



granddaughter Mallory Shane

nephew Garrett Ten Have-Chapman

. . . and his beautiful voice




Following the service old friends, church friends and family met together to swap stories of days long gone, of memories of Bern and growing up in Fremont, MI, all the while enjoying sweet treats:

son-in-law Avery Caldwell and daughter-in-law Dorothy Vanden Berg

grandchildren Ben Schaap and Christina MacDonald

Mallory Shane and her mother, Bern's daughter Mary Battjes

granddaughter Melissa Parker and daughter Joyce Caldwell

grandchildren and siblings Rachel Engels and Jonathan Bergman

Christina, Ben, and Joyce (Christina's mother and Ben's aunt)

far left: niece Brenda Friedman and Mary Battjes

granddaughter Naomi Bergman, Dorothy Vanden Berg, nephews Scott Galloway and Clark Van Halsema

niece Mieke Van Halsema (center)





One very special moment occurred when the former Fremonters (Fremont, MI) came together for a once-in-a-lifetime photo. 

These "kids" lived in the same neighborhood, played together, schooled together, and basically grew up together. Those defining years have held them together no matter how distant they might have become geographically. They shared each other's homes and parents, now all gone; parents who were good and true friends and, if the stories handed down to me are in any way accurate, the very best of neighbors.

the Fremont contingent




John Deur, Garth Deur, Ruth (Okkema) Bratt,  Jonell (Deur) Pettinga, Joyce (VandenBerg) Caldwell, Ross Pettinga, and Susie VandenBerg 

Fred Pettinga and Joyce Caldwell

the grandchildren: Mallory Shane, Christina MacDonald, Melissa Parker, Rachel Engels, Ben Schaap and Jonathan Bergman

After the social hour and everyone dispersed, the family came over to our condo for a short visit, which entailed more story swapping of course. 

A little after 5pm the family returned to the church for pizza supper (from Licari's).



photo compliments of Carl Bergman

A grand day celebrating the life of a truly wonderful woman. . .